‘We are still in the opening chapters’ says Mary McAleese as she ponders on women’s fight for equality
From her childhood in Belfast to Áras an Uachtaráin, Mary McAleese has consistently championed resilience and equality, themes she drew on in Castlebar last weekend at the Soroptimist National Friendship Weekend
The former President of Ireland joined broadcaster Miriam O'Callaghan for a wide-ranging Q&A, reflecting on the people and experiences that shaped her life.
Speaking about family, faith, mentorship and the challenges she has faced, Dr McAleese addressed the event’s theme: “Remarkable Women: Extraordinary Impact – Stories of Strength & Success.”
Above all, she urged women to keep pushing forward, reminding the audience that the journey to progress is never a straight line.
Shaped by Belfast: Lessons in resilience and strength
Dr McAleese was asked what her influences were growing up as a child.
She responded with one word: “Belfast.”
“My hinterland growing up in Belfast as the oldest of nine children.”
She explained how her parents, being “country folk,” had a significant impact on her upbringing in the North. Joking, she said that they had not realised the house they bought was in a predominantly Protestant area.
Being the first Catholic family on the street, she reflected, gave her a wide perspective and the ability to see that there was not just one way of thinking or believing, but many.
The friendships she built with Protestant children in her neighbourhood would prove important. Years later, those same friends were among the first to help her during her campaign to become the eighth President of Ireland, when her Building Bridges Project became the theme of her presidency.
"I think the great commandment, to love one another, is one of the best things I have ever heard in my life, if only people lived by it
Being the eldest daughter also shaped her. Eldest children will understand the meaning of always being on duty, she said.
Her mother’s resilience left a lasting impression on her as well. At the age of 38, she gave birth to her 11th child and haemorrhaged not long after her son was born.
A Catholic doctor told her she would need a hysterectomy, but explained he could not advise it. She was then referred to a female Protestant gynaecologist, who ensured she received the medical care she needed.
When her mother returned home, the local priest arrived and said he had heard about the hysterectomy. He informed the family that she was still of childbearing age and had not asked his permission to have the procedure.
“I watched as my parents shrank in front of me,” remembered Dr McAleese, “I was 18 and clueless, I had never heard the expression ‘childbearing age’ before. However, it tells you something about the cultural and religious context - it would not happen today.”
The same priest also dismissed her ambitions when she told him she intended to stay at school and become a lawyer. He told her: “You can’t, because you are a female and you have nobody belonging to you in the law.”
Education was the door that opened for me"
It was her mother who intervened, offering the only career advice she received from her parents: “Don’t listen to him,” she told her and then asked the priest to leave, a remarkable act of strength that has stayed with Dr McAleese ever since.
“Education was the door that opened for me, and it opened other doors - it was brilliant,” she said.
She looks back on her days in Belfast with deep affection, holding them close: “It has implanted a value system, and a way of looking at the world, the realisation that people can be misled by figments, stories, fake news and by control.”
Dr McAleese reflected on the religious and political climate of the time, speaking about the layers of spiritual and religious control felt by those living in Ireland during that era.
“I think the great commandment, to love one another, is one of the best things I have ever heard in my life, if only people lived by it, but the layering of control over people was unhealthy.”
When asked about her success, including becoming a lawyer and eventually President of Ireland, Dr McAleese was asked if she had always had confidence and belief in herself.
“Yes.” She replied without hesitation, but said she could not take the credit for this innate belief.
As the eldest of nine children, she explained how she came to understand that confidence manifests differently for each person, shaped by their circumstances, and that life does not work the same way for everyone.
However, one figure who played a pivotal role in shaping her confidence as a young woman was Fr Justin Coyne. He was a parish priest she met while coming out of confession one Saturday in Belfast.
“This was the most beautiful, formidable, affirming relationship in my life,” she explained. Fr Coyne helped her understand that her religious views had value, strength and significance - he had an innate belief in her.
Dr McAleese told a story of a moment during her 1997 Presidential campaign when she thought she might have to withdraw, as she did not want to reveal her involvement in peace talks with Gerry Adams and John Hume. Her participation had been at the request of the head of the Redemptorist order.
Just before she was about to call her campaign manager, she received a parcel from a woman named Sister Coyne. It contained the cross worn by Fr Coyne, sent because his sister thought Dr McAleese might need it.
Reflecting on the significance of that connection, she told the audience: “I said if I ever had a son I would call him Justin, and I did,” adding that her son’s husband was born on the 22nd June, the day that Fr Coyle died.
"I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe in the communion of saints and the relationship of people who love us,” she explained, “I saw that and I thought - we’re okay.”
"They invented a theology that excludes women, that flatters them, but keeps us in second place.
Dr McAleese draws strength from her faith, explaining how she finds power in the fact that she was not born a Catholic; she was baptised into the faith, which then took hold of her in that moment.
“I have liberated myself to say I don’t have to be obedient to the church's magisterium. This is a group of men who invented this system. They invented a theology that excludes women, that flatters them, but keeps us in second place. It doesn’t give us the opportunity to be.”
It was clear how deeply Dr McAleese cherishes her church and her faith deeply, but she has the ability to challenge the sexist structures that exist within it.
Pushing forward for the next generation
An audience member asked Dr McAleese how, in the face of rising misogyny and setbacks in the fight for equality, women can assert their rights and voices without losing their composure.
Dr McAleese recognised the frustration that, despite progress, society can often feel as though it is sliding backwards in the fight for equality.
"It’s not over, it’s never over. What happens is they wait for you in the long grass, they regroup, and there will be a pushback. You have to keep pushing forward
“It's something I learnt early on, there are no straight lines in this life,” she said.
She explained this to her son Justin during the campaign for same-sex marriage, a human right Dr McAleese had been advocating for since 1975.
When the overwhelming majority voted in favour, they celebrated - but she reminded her son: “It’s not over, it’s never over. What happens is they wait for you in the long grass, they regroup, and there will be a pushback. You have to keep pushing forward.”
The same, she told the audience, is true in the fight against misogyny, pointing to elected leaders around the world who promote rhetoric that is misogynistic, homophobic, racist and anti-migrant.
She warned that such language is used to: “Reduce people to the rubble of being nothing, rather than human beings entitled to the full dignity of equality that they were born with.”
"If you take your foot off the pedal, what happens is women go backwards
Dr McAleese spoke of historic moments when societies liberated themselves from inequality and narrow thinking that excluded the other. Ireland too, she said, has experienced these moments: “But it’s not over, it’s never over. We can’t let ourselves be drawn back.”
Turning to the next generation, she addressed young women directly: “They have a job to do now, to keep pushing forward.”
Reflecting on the long struggle for women’s rights, she continued: “When women got the vote, when the suffragettes won, bear in mind the crucifixion they suffered to win the vote - a lot of people said that’s all you had to do, you got the vote - that’s it,
“We now look back and say, no. If you take your foot off the pedal, what happens is women go backwards,” she explained.
Education, she argued, has been central to progress: “Free second-level and widespread access to third-level education gave women the opportunity to shine, but we are still in the opening chapters.”
Dr McAleese left the audience inspired with a clear message: progress is never a straight line, but persistence, courage, and conviction can create change.
From her Belfast upbringing to her role as President of Ireland, she has shown how faith, mentorship, and education can empower women to overcome obstacles and become leaders.
This article has been funded by the Local Democracy Reporting Scheme.